One year ago I met my baby girl for the first time.  She was wet, warm, squirmy, and loud.  She seemed larger than I had imagined she would be and her face was all squished.  Although wrinkled, her fingers were long and slender like her dad’s.  It was such a rush and mix of emotions.  I experienced surprise when then pulled her out and quickly placed her on my chest.  Then I had a rush of fear with the thought of “Oh crap.  I have a baby now.”  Then I felt absolute joy holding her and nursing her for the first time.  As I watched her eat, I was so proud and amazed.  She came out already knowing what to do!  Then I uncovered the blanket they wrapped her in and laughed out loud because her legs were covered in poop.  What a crazy first hour.

It’s now a year later and and now I’m feeling a similar mix of emotions.  I’m feeling nostalgic for the first day I met her and all that has happened this past year.  I’m so proud of all that she can do already.  How did we get from this:

to this?

When she figures something out for the first time, I always think “GENIUS” but in reality it’s just normal.

How can one little person elicit so many conflicting emotions at once?  While I’m in the middle of a frustrated fury holding a crying baby throwing her head back, she’ll suddenly stop and place her head and cheek on my chest to give me a hug.  The frustration immediately disappears and my heart just melts.  What a stinker.  This is going to be how she’ll get a pony from her dad one day.

I’m excited to see what she’ll accomplish this coming year and I’m also nervous about all the things I will need to learn and do as a parent.  I think this is when it gets harder.  She’s going to be running soon and I won’t be able to catch up.

I’m so happy to be celebrating her first year of life and there are lots of moments I’d love to relive.  Luckily I kept up with littlejanie.org and managed to take a photo of her every day this past year.

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.  It’s been a fun ride so far and looking forward to what you have in store for us this next year.  Love you.