Browse Category: chuckle

I’m a fan.

I hate vacuuming. It hurts my ears. It’s stinky. It’s heavy. And the results are never worth the amount of physical labor it requires.

dysonFor the past few months, we’ve considered purchasing our very own dyson. Each time we go to Costco, we pass the vacuum aisle and debate whether it’s really worth $469.99. Victor and Susie got it a while back and were totally raving about it but still, it’s a vacuum! Well, after I tried to vacuum the house on Friday, I was a little frustrated with the results of my hard work and seriously reconsidered the possible purchase. Today, we went to Costco and finally forked over the money for our very own dyson DC14 full kit and didn’t look back. We were skeptical at first but boy has it changed my attitude towards vacuuming. For example, I just vacuumed our livingroom rug on Friday afternoon and today (Sunday), it managed to pick up another half a canister of fur! Wow…either our old vacuum wasn’t doing anything or my dog is shedding a lot. Speaking of fur, we also tried to vacuum the dog but he wasn’t a fan. Later, even Jesse got into the fun and vacuumed the fur out of the back of my car and the entire second floor of our house. I can totally imagine a commercial where some housewife says, “Dyson saved our marriage!”

A couple more things and I’ll shut up…it has some really cool attachments that snap to the side or top of the machine, it’s less hurty to my ears than the old vacuum, and because it has a Hepa filter it doesn’t smell!! OK. I’m a fan.

When in doubt…

hit it with a hammer. Today, Jesse decided to be a responsible homeowner and flushed out the water heater. It started out well. He turned the heater to “Pilot only”, hooked up the garden hose to the front of the heater, and started to drain the water out of the tank. There were a couple hiccups involving releasing the pressure but turning on several different faucets in the house but all went well. That is, until it was time to refill and heat it back up. All I know is that I was in the livingroom folding laundry and I hear this water spraying out of pipe that sticks out of our patio wall. I never knew what that was for and nothing ever came out of it…until now. Apparently it’s to release water when there’s too much pressure in the water heater. I then heard some banging coming from the garage. Uh oh…that can’t be good. Then I saw Jesse checking his laptop, running up the stairs, out the door, back to the garage and back up the stairs with a hammer in his hand! A hammer?! Well, then the water stopped dripping out of the pipe and the banging stopped. Jesse came back to the livingroom with a proud look on his face. I asked, “Is everything ok?” and he said, “Yep, when in doubt, hit it with a hammer!” Hm…then I asked, “where did you get that idea?” and he replied with, “the internet”. OK, boys and girls, the Lesson for the Day is: Google can teach you anything.

Touche Pussycat!

Lately I’ve been reminiscing, mostly to myself, about a certain cat and mouse cartoon that I used to watch as a kid. I went on IMDb.com to find my favorite episodes and found myself sitting at my work desk cracking up at the descriptions of each episode. How silly. But c’mon, if you ever saw the episode of Uncle Pecos visiting Jerry and pulling wiskers off of Tom for new gi’tar strangs, you’d laugh out loud too. All I know is that I have a sudden urge to buy one of their compilation DVDs, have my brother over for cereal, and sit in front of the TV for a couple hours watching Tom & Jerry cartoons under a fort built of sofa cushions and diningroom chairs.  By the way, Blogger has officially been blocked from my district network…boo…
…
One more thing…I went on a 22-mile bike ride with Jesse and Jay. Took the Garmin and it tracked my speed, distance, elevation, and everything else you can think of. When I plug it in and sync it, it looks up the temperature and wind speed for the time I was out there too. Ridiculous. It might as well measure the amount of sweat I produce. Anyway, I had a pleasant ride through Irvine and managed to get home in one piece. Riding with the clippies in isn’t as scary as it used to be.

Can you blame them?

Have you ever stood back to watch a bunch of white people dance? It’s very interesting. All the girls have the same bouncy-swaying-hairflipping move while the boys sway along, hold their arms in a flexor pattern, and try to grab some ass when the girls are not paying attention. I’m not saying that Asians are any better but it’s just really entertaining to watch. With some further observation and analysis, I realized that it may not be their fault. I’ve concluded that it’s greatly influenced by their Whitey music. It really doesn’t allow for any other kind of dancing with perhaps the exception of the classic hard-rock-jumping-up-and-down?. How can you really look cool dancing to Green Day’s “American Idiot”? I suppose the only song that I can find a decent beat to is “Play That Funky Music (White Boy)” but even that’s pushing it. I thought it was very appropriate for the band to end the night with “Sweet Home Alabama”. This seems to be the song that all the white girls jump out of their drunken stupor long enough to shake it one last time. You go girl! Shake that overexposed Buddha belly so we can all appreciate the beauty that is “The Whitey Dance”!

*tap tap* Is this on?

I gave an inservice to the Instructional Assistants today and I had a “sucky comic” moment. I expected much of my presentation to be interactive and I was hoping for active participation and critical thinking from my audience. Unfortunately, that wasn’t exactly what I got. For example, I asked a simple question like, “what kind of activities can you do to build hand strength?” Not a single hand went up and instead I got blank stares and heard crickets in my head. *chirp chirp chirp* Actual crickets in my head like I was on some sit-com! I was thinking either these ladies weren’t understanding my question, didn’t have a clue how to answer me, or didn’t care. My 45-minute presentation was pure torture. By the end I had a little more participation but I walked away with a really confused feeling. So, I walked back to my portable with my head slumped and I assumed my inservice was a complete waste of time…as if I needed another blow to my fragile ego. Luckily, some of the teachers stopped me to tell me that they got a lot of positive feedback from their IAs. Apparently, they learned a lot and found it very helpful. Phew! Maybe I don’t actually suck…maybe.

SO not ready…

Last night I decided to treat Marie to a little evening at the Nail Spa by my house. In order to do that, I needed a babysitter for Cole first. Well, when the thought occurred to me, Jes was standing next to me and I had a mini-“aha moment”. I took a chance and asked him if he would be willing to hang out with Cole for an hour and he surprisingly said “sure” without hesitation. I paused for a moment due to the confusion that had come over me and he said, “hurry up and call her before I change my mind!”. Anyway, it was a go and we were off to get our nails done! Marie was so excited and I was a little worried for Jes.

…

For the first fifteen minutes, I had to order Thai food so I called Jes twice to ask him what he wanted and it sounded like he had everything under control. Well, 15 minutes turned into 45 and then by the time we picked up dinner and got back to the house it was an hour and a half later and Cole was on the couch with Jes’ leg blocking the drop-zone crying his poor little heart out.

…

According to Jesse, Cole was cool for the first 20 minutes or so just hanging out and goin’ with the flow. Then, as if a switch turned on, he realized that his mommy wasn’t around and started to cry. It sounded like he cried for a good hour. Jes laughed at first…haha…15 minutes of crying is still kinda funny. Then the next 30 minutes was spent walking him around, checking for a poopy diaper, and trying to calm him down. Then he tried putting Cole back on the couch and and turned up the TV. It worked at first but 5 minutes later he started to cry again. There was a periodic pause in his crying as if he was tuckered out but then he caught his breath and it was back to the tears! All I know is that when I walked into the livingroom, Cole was trying to catch his breath in Marie’s arms, there were little wet spots all over the couch, and Jes sat on the couch with a funny grin and couldn’t say anything but, “uh, he pretty much cried for the last hour…little wanker”.

…

Oh well, so much for Jes’ first try at babysitting. It sounded kind of like my first time with Cole back in September. The only difference was that Cole fell asleep for me after 30 minutes. Nice try, Jes.