Parenting Dilemma
We went to Reese’s 3rd birthday party today and Kumquat and I had a little drama. Kumquat’s favorite toy of the day was this shopping cart. She had such a good time pushing and pulling it back and forth in the front yard. That was until an older girl came by and tried to take it from her. They struggled for a bit and Janie really held her own but eventually the older girl won and Janie was left in tears. I tried my best to mediate but the girl won because 1) The older girl is bigger and stronger, 2) I didn’t want to cause any drama with Michelle and Ryan’s new friends and 3) I don’t really know what the rules of sharing are anymore. Kumquat was playing with it for a while so is this one of those situations when she’s supposed to let others play with it too? All I know is that I now had a distraught little girl in my lap because someone had interrupted a perfectly good activity that she was thoroughly enjoying. Honestly, I wanted to cry too.
Well, of course the girl played with it for only a few minutes and abandoned it in the play room. Kumquat found it again and was so happy to have it back. Not even a minute later, the same girl came by and took it from her again!!!! Kumquat cried and I didn’t know what I should have done. Do I yell at the girl to stop bullying a much younger girl who has no idea what “sharing” means? Do I stand by and watch the bullying happen? Do I allow Kumquat to fend for herself with the risk of someone getting physically hurt? I could see the fight in Kumquat’s face and she was ready to throw down! Alas, I wimped out and allowed the girl to take the shopping cart once again as I consoled my daughter with a red guitar, which seemed to help distract her for the moment. I just kept telling her (and myself) that they would be going home soon and then Janie would have the shopping cart all to herself for the rest of the evening. I was also putting on my mental to-do list to go online tonight to order Janie her very own shopping cart from Amazon.
So, as I had promised, the girl finally went home and Janie had the shopping cart all to herself and went about her merry way. She had her balloon, fairy wings, and the shopping cart for hours to pushing, pulling, and playing without the threat of a bully taking it all away from her again.
Joy
Sunday, October 6, 2013I think what you did the first time around was right. But when it got taken from her again…where were that girl’s parents?! No older girl should have done that to a toddler. Humph 🙁
Grandma
Sunday, October 6, 2013U should kick her butt instead of giving in
Auntie Jeanie
Monday, October 7, 2013Yikes, tough situation, but the other girl may not have had to share much and not know the “joys” of teaching someone younger. I wonder if she would have been open to “showing” Janie how to play with the cart if she was asked. It’s hard to navigate crying & upset kids. Well, Janie got a shopping cart out of it so who’s really the winner.
PS: I love grandma’s advice, “kick her butt” =)
Michelle
Wednesday, October 16, 2013I just read this post. I’m SO sorry about the situation. It is very awkward and I would have hoped that her mom would have been more firm with her. It’s interesting because overheard her mom complain about a boy who was bullying her daughter at preschool! Next time you should summon Jack and have him resolve the situation. 😉