We spent our July 4th in the Grand Teton National Park. After an awesome brunch of fajitas and fried rice that was prepared with all our leftover perishables, we took the campsite apart, packed up the minivan, and headed south to our destination. On our way there, we made a stop at the Mud Volcano Area where we almost got gored two days prior. There was no buffalo in sight but lots of stinky mud volcanos. We took the boardwalk path up the mountain side to find several of our big brown friends getting sulphur facials. It was mighty stinky there and I couldn’t stand how itchy all my mosquito bites had gotten!

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Once we arrived in Grand Teton NP, we had some drinks at Jackson Lodge, enjoyed the view, and then headed out on a bus that took us to our “Meal Float”. For a whoppin’ $60 per person, Bang said that he’s better be sharding himself from the spectacular food and view. Well, the bus ride was extra fun since I had two “special” lemonades on an empty stomach. We rode in a vintage bus with no A/C but plenty of open windows. At the meal site, we had steak and trout with all the fixins including beans, corn, and salad. We later dunked our dirty feet into the chilly waters of the Snake River and attempted to skip rocks. How sad…everytime someone would pick up “the ultimate skipping rock”, it would go “DOONG” into the water with no skip in sight.

Then it was pontoon time. We all had to learn how to properly don a life vest from a girl whose delivery was hilarious. Once on the pontoon, we floated 10 miles along the Snake River where we saw a bald eagle, osprey, ducks, Canada geese, and elk. Speaking of the bald eagle…I just have to say that it must be the most retarded national bird ever. I learned that they can’t see very well so they don’t fish very well, often have to be scavengers to the more superior osprey, and have poor parenting skills. If the mama eagle finds food for her eaglettes, she will just drop it off and the babies have to fight for it resulting in one of them starving to death. Awesome. Anyway, it seems appropriate now that I’ve met so many horrible parents in my line of work. Perhaps the Bald Eagle is representative of American people…basically retarded.OK. Let me step off my soapbox now. Back to the river float. The trip down the river was cool and our guide was cool. We also got to see a couple beaver lodges and witness an osprey dive from a five-story-high tree into the river to catch a fish. Overall it wasn’t spectacular enough to make Bang shard himself but it was still worth it.

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The drive home was a tiring one. We stopped in Jackson to figure out our route home and we got to see a bunch of home-based fireworks along the road. We also got caught in the July 4th traffic in Idaho Falls at midnight, which was rather annoying. With minimal stops for gas and potty breaks, we made it to Sacramento Airport 9 hours early. So, Jes and I caught the 10:30 am flight and home by noon. What a great trip…but I think I’ll fly straight to Jackson Hole next time.