I made this collection of photos from each month of this past year to see how much KK has changed.  She had such a baby face at the beginning of the year!  Also, what a difference from last year’s collage!!

Now that we’re out of the baby and toddler years, I thought I’d reflect on things I’ve learned along the way as KK’s Mama.

1. Raising a headstrong, independent kid takes lots of perseverance, consistency, and my own stubbornness.  This kid also thrives on routine and repetition.  She’s still not following directions as well as I’d like but there’s something about her that reminds me of how headstrong Koa was too.  She tries to do things on her own time and in her own way, which can be frustrating and endearing at the same time.  If she doesn’t do something after the first or second request, I walk her through it to get the task done even if it results in tears or tantrums.  What also helps is a little brainwashing.  I just model for her “OK Mama.  I do it.” and she will often repeat after me and get the task done.  Works like a charm about 75% of the time.
2. As good as eating habits can be, they will be constantly changing.  Expose them to a variety of foods, flavors, and textures as early as you can and have the expectation that they may like it regardless of your biases.  I hate bananas but I expect that my kid will form her own opinion on her own about them.  This kid used to have a voracious appetite but now that she’s older, we’ve had to negotiate around her particular likes and dislikes of the moment.  One day she loves broccoli and then the next day she will be indifferent to it.  The key to a successful meal is to always offer but don’t force.  This kid likes choices and there is no option of “yes” or “no”.  It’s more like “do you want broccoli or rice first?”  Works most of the time.
3. Pick your battles.  There are some battles that just aren’t worth fighting for the greater good of the moment.  If she wants to wear a skirt to bed instead of PJ bottoms, that will be fine for the sake of not losing another minute of sleep for the night.  In the grand scheme of things, wearing a skirt to sleep for one night is not going to hurt anyone.
4. Changes and transitions are hard but they are necessary for growth and learning.  When we had to change from daily nanny care at home to drop-off daycare, it was hard on both of us but in the end, she learned to look forward to love “school” and has learned so much along the way.  The best part of picking her up everyday is the giant hug I get.  She also says “you came back!” and I reply with “I always come back.”  Somehow that’s reassuring for her.
5. Take the kid out to restaurants early and often and BE CONSISTENT.  KK has been going to restaurants since she was a wee little baby and I can probably count on my two hands the number of times she had been allowed to get out of her highchair during a meal.  As soon as she was strong enough to sit in a highchair, that’s where she sat any time we were out.  That also goes for meals at home.  Even if she isn’t hungry, she is expected to sit at the table with us while we eat.  It’s just the routine.  When we go out, we also come prepared with things for her to do while we wait for the food.  It usually keeps her out of trouble.  I hope this all works for Peanut.  I’m always afraid that we just lucked out with a good little diner.
6. Lower your voice and be straight forward when you’re upset.  Kids don’t get passive-aggressive undertones.  Yelling rarely works too.  When I’m mad or upset with KK, I get down to her level and give it to her straight.  “Mama is mad because ___.  Next time, you should ___.”  Nowadays, she can sense when I’m mad based on my behavior and tone.  She will sometimes come up to me and ask in a sweet voice, “Mama, you mad?”  We try to resolve things quickly with an explanation, solution, and a make-up hug.  This has worked about 75% of the time so far.
7. Daddy is not a clone of Mommy.  I shouldn’t expect Jes to do everything the same way I do.  He is Daddy and does things in a “Daddy way”.  She’s always fed, dressed, and safe in his care.  They also have special things together that makes their relationship special.  For example, they feed the fish every night and I’m never involved.
8. I’m nowhere close to the perfect parent but I’m good enough for KK.  I don’t wash her hands as much as I should.  Her bedtime is probably later than it should be.  I probably allow her to have ice cream more than I should. I also don’t enjoy reading to her (thankfully Jes does).  Luckily, she has a strong immune system, she’s not overweight, and she loves me unconditionally.

Sorry that this is so long-winded but I’m literally writing this all down now to remind me later when Peanut arrives.  I’m looking forward to testing the nature vs. nurture debate that runs through my head all the time.  Did I just luck out with an easy kid?  Will Kid #2 be a picky-eating, uncontrollable terror despite all my efforts?  Who knows.  I guess I’ll just have to find out in another 15 weeks.

By the way, I passed my second glucose tolerance test this week.  Woot!  Time to celebrate with a giant chocolate chip cookie!